This Have I Learned

Three cheers for surprise days off. But be not fooled. I have spent the majority of the day collecting valuable information. I am, after all, an aspiring student of information.
Here is what this uncomfortably warm day has taught me:

>I do not know how to insert bullet points in this device.
>Hills are much easier to ascend than descend.
>The gods tried to keep me from the park today, but I know not why.
>It is possible to make soy ice cream at home, but hardly worth the effort.
>You cannot buy sporty-style socks in packs of fewer than 3
>Gold Toe socks are preferred 2-1 to the leading brand sock, whatever that may be. I couldn't even venture a guess... any guesses? Melissa, this sounds like the kind of thing you'd like to research...
>Eating a nice crispy apple is just like brushing your teeth, but far more delicious (okay I already knew that one)
>Just because I can see all the parts of a simple machine does not mean I have any idea how to fix it.
>Apparently the mayor (or "meilloro" or whatever the fuck) of Verona once took steps to outlaw the public eating of sandwiches. Thank God. I've heard that sandwich eating is a spreading and unpleasant virus. Jesse, this sounds like something for you to check out.
>Domino's pizza has finally come out with an Oreo pizza. I'm sure the clamoring masses will be appeased. I'm holding out for the Nutter Butter calzone.
>All these years I've been avoiding frozen peas for nothing: they're really not so bad.
>The moment a librarian recommends a book, everyone wants to read it. This explains my inability to find a Jasper Fford book. I cannot wait to have that kind of power!
and finally:
>Mattress World's hard-to-find locations will save YOU money!